supperware.net » writings » this might be a confidence crisis

People are running about like ants, all moving objects from a certain place and putting them in a certain other place. Such is the nature of work. Most of us are getting ill, or have been ill. The weather’s improving, but to keep us all subjugated, the work is getting worse.

Elections are this week. The manifestos are skeletal and similar, the candidates are extrovert and sometimes brash. The marketing is as unsophisticated as it is in real politics. A low turnout is expected. The people who will win are the people who most want to win. All viewpoints are equally valid. No candidate is better than any other. We cannot be allowed to discriminate on the grounds of merit.

So much coursework this month. Keeps one too busy to protest about the amount of work one has. No time to shave. No time to make love. No time to protest. March-time. No time to march.

More subway incidents occur. Twilight. No camera. Inaction. Bins overturned violently on the way back from the Union, three nights a week. Glass broken, three nights a week. All forgotten by the light of day. All tidied up. That’s why we pay the cleaners. Syndicated vending machines smashed and inverted. The underbelly of the NUS. One Grolsch tap. One Carling tap. Two Stellas please. Shouting at passers by. Stopping and standing and staring. Throw eggs out of windows. Throw more eggs into other windows. We pay their wages — that’s why they clean for us. No top-up fees. Bring back grants. Bring on 24 hour Tesco. I’ll make as much noise as I like. I’m young. It’s 3am, and you’re asleep, but I’m beautiful and how dare you try to spoil my fun. Raaaargh. We pay security. We pay the cleaners. He who pays the piper calls the tune. Lager lager lager.

Dirty wars. Old versus young. Rich and unpleasant versus poor and unpleasant. Cultures collide in cold conflict. Guildford. This is Guildford. Conservative newsletter. Council Tax exemption certificate. NUS: in or out, Pepsi or Coke? Two Stellas thank you. Are you OK?

Discrimination is bad unless it’s against a majority. Names, presenters, armies, and production values advance to satiate the naive. Nothing else is touched. The naive sleep well. The rest know no more, and sleep badly. We cannot be allowed to discriminate on the grounds of merit. Discrimination is bad unless it’s against a minority.

Slavery was abolished and the slaves emancipated one hundred and fifty years ago, Sir. We’re clean now, Sir. Slaves no longer qualify for the once-in-a-lifetime trip across the world, Sir. Our commodities do instead, Sir, to be buried in unmarked graves. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? One right answer, three wrong answers.

A desiccated specimen for a university module. An excuse for an academy above a pub. Guildford witnesses the death-by-freezing of popular music. Create a professor from a pub bore. Analysis equals extermination by dissection. Discuss. Only the success of the unexceptional is truly surprising. Discuss in no more than fifteen hundred words. The rest of this paragraph. Discuss in no more than five sentences. There are no right or wrong answers. The proper answer is another six questions. The more I learn, the less I know. The more I know, the less I understand. Discuss.

Published in barefacts 1053 • 6 March 2003